The first months 3 min read
Settling in at your child’s pace
Ways to adapt the first weeks and months to your child’s temperament, with questions that look beyond the morning goodbye.
Sources checked · By FirstDrop
Children differ in how they approach new people and places. During the first weeks and months, work with educators to understand your child’s experience and adjust their support. There is no single settling-in deadline to measure your child against.
Notice what helps your child connect
- For a child who takes time to warm up Allow time to watch before joining. Ask whether an educator can offer a familiar activity or introduce play with one or two children. Avoid making being outgoing the goal; quiet observation can be part of getting comfortable.
- For a child who loves movement Discuss safe opportunities to move and explore, and how educators help with the shift to quieter activities. A high activity level alone does not mean something is wrong.
- For a child overwhelmed by a busy room Share the sounds, bustle or interactions that seem difficult. Ask whether a quieter greeting or less stimulating starting activity is possible. Educators can adjust their voice and approach to your child’s cues.
Sources: Children with Shy or Slow to Warm Up Temperaments · Parenting Strategies for an Active Child · Supporting Young Children as They Transition to an Early Learning Environment
Keep useful routines, with room to adjust
A predictable goodbye and a clear explanation of when you will return can help. Prepare your child for changes in people or routines. Even an easygoing child may need extra support with a particular transition.
At home, leave room for quiet time together. Ask the program about any gradual-start options if your child needs more support and your family can accommodate them.
Sources: How to Ease Your Child’s Separation Anxiety · Temperament: Reaction to Change · How to prepare your child for child care
Ask about the whole day
Agree on a way to check in with educators. Useful questions include: When did my child seem comfortable? What did they enjoy? Who could comfort them? How did meals and rest go? Use the answers to discuss one practical adjustment together.
These are conversation prompts, not a developmental scorecard. Ontario also notes that pickup can bring different emotions as children adjust; ask about the day rather than judging it from that moment alone.
Ask for help when you are concerned
Talk with your child’s health care provider if you are worried they are not adapting to separation. You do not need to wait for an arbitrary number of weeks. Bring observations from both home and daycare so you can discuss support suited to your child.
Sources & further reading
Checked on September 30, 2026. Guidance and program rules can change; follow the linked source for updates.
- ZERO TO THREESupporting Young Children as They Transition to an Early Learning Environment
- ZERO TO THREEChildren with Shy or Slow to Warm Up Temperaments
- ZERO TO THREEParenting Strategies for an Active Child
- ZERO TO THREETemperament: Reaction to Change
- American Academy of Pediatrics · HealthyChildren.orgHow to Ease Your Child’s Separation Anxiety
- Government of OntarioHow to prepare your child for child care